Scarlet letters
by Steinbjoern
Summary: There ain't no peace for the wicked, as Garrus is about to discover when a scandal interrupts his daily routine.
1. Chapter 1

Garrus sat quietly gazing out the window of their citadel apartment, a cup of kavah steaming on the table. Calm mornings had become a ritual for them both since the war ended. He preferred Shepard at his side, smiling and blowing cool air into her own hot mug, but today he had let her sleep in. Garrus knew she was still healing after the fall of the crucible, but she kept on working with the rebuilding of earth even confined to a home office, as he did for Palaven. Letting her have a few late mornings was no more than she deserved, and far to little in his opinion. Lately the feeling of having the weight of the world on their shoulders had started to subside, and these moments early in the morning had provided a safe haven for both of them. Finally the world could start to normalize and he could spend his days with his work and his mate, without the constant feel of an oncoming emergency. He sighed happily.

Then the omni-tool pinged. He ignored it. The reapers were gone, and he would damn well have his kavah before letting the world intrude in his affairs.  
The omni-tool pinged again. Garrus continued his willful ignorance, closed his eyes and felt all right with the world.

After five minutes the omni-tool gave an angry buzz, alerting an emergency call. He felt himself crash down from his euphoria, and gave it an annoyed glance. It was Joker. Damn. Garrus rubbed his crest before he tapped accept call. On the screen Joker's grinning face appeared.

"Hey man, how about reading and answering your messages like normal people?"

"It's not Office hours yet, and I prefer to have my private time to myself."

Joker chuckled. "Apparently, you have been a little too preoccupied with yourself, neglecting the important things in life."

"What?"

"If you ignore what's right in front of you, can you truly blame it for seeking solace elsewhere?"

"You are in front of me, and I would actually prefer it if you sought your pleasures elsewhere instead of bothering my morning kavah."

The pilot couldn't hold back a snicker, and in the background Garrus heard more of the same.

"Oh, you'll regret that comment later."

Usually he liked bantering with the helmsman, but now he merely felt his ire rise.

"Joker, if you have no life threatening situation over there, why are you disturbing me this early?"

"Have you seen the neewsfeed today?"

"No, as I said..."

"Well, you do that now, and then tell me whose life is in danger."

Now the people in the background were laughing, and Jokers smile suddenly seemed unnerving.

"I'll.. do that." Garrus gave him a confused look.

"Great, we can't wait for your official statement," the pilot grinned and hung up.

Garrus cued up the latest news feed, and the top the headline screamed in his eyes: Latest book release; Commander Shepard's Secret lover, by Conrad Verner.

Garrus read the headline. Then he read it again. And again. His first reaction was a flash of anger at the betrayal, before the more rational parts of his brain gave another flash; the image of Conrad Verner himself, practically humping Shepard's leg in a bid for attention. There was no way in the humans darkest hell that Shepard would have bedded her own personal stalker.

The morning calm had completely evaporated, and he began pacing around in the kitchen spewing silent turian curses on the man, wishing against all science that Verner's plates would wither and his talons fall off. The nerve of that man! How dared he tell the entire galaxy that he had slept with his bond mate? Frequently as well?! He opened an interview with Verner and scanned the highlights. Shepard had been under tremendous pressure, looking for comfort, forced cooperation with the turians, especially the ghastly, scarred reaper adviser Vakarian, tried her best, unsatisfied, ignored, turian needs not compatible with humans, looking for solace, finding desperate happiness in the arms of the only man that had supported her all the way..

Garrus remembered Jokers words on solace and not seeing whats in front of you, and considered sabotaging the pilots damned chair. Preferably with explosives. He fumed. He raged. And then he cleared his schedule, downloaded the spiritsdamned book and started reading.

* * *

Verner's book was exactly the complete and utter dreck Garrus had suspected it to be. It was in diary form, dated and filled with the kind of observations on Shepard's actions that could only be construed by someone who had no intimate knowledge of her in any form. Aside from the fact that no aliens had forced Shepard to work with them, quite the contrary, Verner imagined that she only got along with the aliens on her crew because duty demanded it. His description of Wrex had been one of the few things that made Garrus chuckle; _"The beastly visage of the krogan made the commander wince.."_ Shepard and that particular krogan had got on like the human idiom of burning buildings, each trying to best the other on how much wanton destruction they could wreak on a mission, with him trailing behind picking off stragglers and doing his best to keep both of them alive. When his omni-tool buzzed again, it was therefore no surprise that it was the leader of Tuchanka making his presence known. Garrus accepted the call.

"Wrex."

"Vakarian."

The krogans red eyes glinted with cruel mirth. "I told Shepard about turian nuts, but she just had to try it for herself. Apparently turians can't fight, and now we learn they can't fuck either. Perhaps it would be better if she became ambassador to the krogans, so that she can finally get the satisfaction she needs."

Garrus forced a smile, knowing that he was being baited.

"I didn't know you could read, Wrex. And don't you think your beastly face would deter Shepard from ever setting foot on your planet again?"

"You're one to talk. Did you get to the part where she is startled by strange turian mating squawks, and have to close her eyes and think of earth?"

Garrus felt a blue flush working its way up his neck. "No, I haven't. You, however, should have better things to do than read that slanderous rag of a book. Rebuilding that radioactive rock you live on, for example."

Wrex's grin was now showing all of his teeth, and Garrus couldn't help agreeing with Verner, he did look like a beast.

"We have everything well in hand here, don't concern yourself with that, turian. Now, back to your little problem.."

"I don't have a little problem, in fact there is no problem at all. Except for when I murder Conrad Verner and need a place to hide."

The krogans smile became unnaturally wide. "Well, I just wanted to show some moral support for my former comrades."

"Sure you did," Garrus dryly replied.

"What does the great commander herself say about this?"

"I haven't woken her up yet, she's still not fully healed from her injuries."

"Are you sure about that? She could have escaped out the window and currently be snuggled against-" here Wrex held up a data pad and read carefully: " _a red-blooded virile human male, the only true comfort for a passionate woman of the Alliance_."

Garrus recognized the clunky wording of chapter 3, _As Nature Intended_ , and glared at Wrex.

"I'm sure you're busy, and won't detain you a moment longer."

Wrex laughed again. "Wait, Vakarian, I have another one. _The intimate caress of tender human lips versus the chafing mouth plates of a_ -"

"Goodbye Wrex," Garrus interjected, and cut the link. He groaned when he saw three other missed calls appear on the screen, one from a certain admiral of the Flotilla, one from Liara and of course, his father. It was going to be a long day.


	2. Chapter 2

If Garrus had ever wondered what his stern and ascetic father sounded like when broken down in hysterics, he did so no more. His was the first missed call he tried to return, but when the connection were made, Vakarian the elder was sitting at his desk gasping for air between fits of laughter, unable to string three words together. Garrus quickly disconnected. He couldn't deal with a fatherly breakdown today.

Tali'Zorah on the other hand was fully comprehensible, and quite furious. How in the name of the spirits they had managed to read that travesty from cover to cover already he would never know, but Verner had apparently based his knowledge of quarian sexuality as described in chapter 7 on some rather seedy porn vids that would have made Joker proud. According to Verner, the Flotilla grew its own sex pollen on every ship, and the quarians only took off their suits for ship wide orgies. When the Normandy had been "lumbered" with a quarian, the good commander had to explain that an Alliance ship were no place for such depravities, and this had caused Tali'Zorah vas Normandy to purchase a retrofitted geth sexbot called Legion to keep herself from sexually harassing the regular crew.

Tali ranted at Garrus for a full hour, almost threatening earth with an invasion of geth assassins and mentioning her shotgun thrice before cutting the link. Luckily he had managed to stop himself from saying "assassins, not sexbots?" to the enraged quarian. He hoped Kal'Reegar would calm his wife down before she actually sent the geth or arrived with the entire flotilla herself. The image of Verner now appeared in his mind with the subtext "i _s this the face that launched a thousand ships_?" He forced the image away. Stupid human poets. Garrus slumped in his chair, looking mournfully at the now very cold kavah. Conrad Verner might turn out to be more debilitating to the galaxy than the reapers themselves.

He couldn't muster up the willpower to call the shadow broker right after Tali, and instead picked up the datapad again to continue his descent into Verner's written insanity. He took a quick glance into the mailbox. Yesterday it had been empty, now 492 unread inquiries awaited his attention, the headlines on the last 50 being: _VS: Commander Shepard's Secret lover._

Conrad Verner's dratted book spread faster than scale itch, and was in Garrus' opinion most likely equally unpleasant. He gave a low distracted keen and pinched his nose plates before resuming to read.

* * *

Jane Shepard-Vakarian had been woken by a call from Liara, whom apologized for disturbing so early, and said she couldn't get a hold of Garrus.

"That's no wonder," Shepard drowsily replied, "he never answers calls before his work day begins."

"Well, he and you should make an exception this time." Liara's voice wavered.

Shepard thought she seemed upset, but she also thought she heard a low snort coming from the asari. She struck it from her mind, figuring it must be very early.

"So?" Liara ventured, apparently awaiting some sort of reaction.

"So what exactly? I don't mind the early rise, Liara, but the mysterious asari maiden act you can pull on someone else."

The asari sighed. "I thought as much."

She cued up a miniature live feed of today's news reel, and the headlined book release. Shepard rubbed her eyes slowly.

"You're starting a book club? Really? 101 ways to shake your ass, asari style?"

Liara gave her a livid glare. "Remind me why we are friends again, Shepard-Vakarian. And yes, this book is about ass shaking. More accurately, how you've been grinding yours against Conrad Verner!"

Shepard blinked her eyes several times as her brain struggled to shift itself into gear, but despite it's best efforts the response was still a hesitant "What?"

Liara coughed. "Shepard, Conrad Verner has published an autobiography where he purports himself to be your longtime lover."

" _What_?"

This exclamation was uttered with dead calm, and was the reaction Liara had feared most. The next would be an eruption of-:

"The man is dead! I'll have Grunt tear his arms off! I'll hand him over to the geth for live target practice! And then I'll have his carcass displayed on a spike next to the krogan statue on the presidium!"

"Shepard.." Liara tried to sound soothing.

"Don't _Shepard_ me, Liara." Her eyes narrowed. "And how come the shadow broker couldn't pick up on this sooner?"

The asari sighed. There it was.

"Shepard, I never thought the book would be released, considering it is factually wrong on almost every level. What I can offer now is damage control."

"Oh, there'll be damage all right." Shepard leaned back and rubbed her temples. Her implants felt like they were on fire.

"No, Shepard!" Liara's voice rang with the commanding tone she probably used on her subordinates.

"This time you won't charge in like a deranged bovine inn a Chinese People's Federation shop of fine crackleware."

As she had predicted Shepard had to take a few seconds to wrap her head around this reinvention, and Liara pressed her advantage.

"If you get out there now, it will be a case of the lady doth protest too much."

"I should never have encouraged you to learn more about human culture," came Shepard's dour reply, now having caught up with the asaris blatant hijacking of earth references.

Liara had one more card up her velvet sleeve.

"Shepard, information is what I do. I can defuse this relatively easy unless you complicate my job by being, well, yourself."

Shepard opened her mouth for an angry reply, but Liara continued;

"And what about poor Garrus? How do you think he feels about this?"

That seemed to the trick. Shepard deflated immediately, looking concerned.

"Oh. Right. I should probably go check on my mate."

Liara hid a smug smile. That was almost too easy.

"You do that. I'll run interference on my end. And I'll send you a copy of the book. Might as well know what you're in for." She cut the link.

Shepard shuffled out of bed into a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt and padded barefoot towards the stairs. Halfway down she overheard Tali's voice shrieking about slander and sex pollen, and Garrus' attempt at a calming rumble. After a moment of listening and consideration she figured her upstanding and solid husband, whom she assured herself she loved deeply despite abandoning him at the mercy of the quarian admiral, probably had a handle on things, and snuck back upstairs.

Shepard stared at the blinking transmission message from Liara and picked up the pad. How bad could it be, really?


	3. Chapter 3

**Touch of NSFW**

* * *

It was awful. Going beyond bad, into horrific, through stuff of nightmares coming out on the opposite side of so bad it's good and landing into awful. As in "readers should be filled with awe over how bad this thing was." To her great surprise, Shepard found she enjoyed the hell out of it. Sure, the book was a scathing damnation of her relationship with Garrus, but no one with three working brain cells in their head could possibly believe this narrative contained any truth. She had skipped the endless passages on the authors feeble minded opinion of the war, and went straight for the good stuff. Verner had got it into his mind to insult virtually every species she'd ever had aboard the Normandy, and although Liara had been given a preferential treatment it was probably because human men in general liked asaris. Blue T&A, Shepard mused, he should be so lucky.

There were so many gold nuggets, but Verner's description of Javik as "that deformed batarian with urine-colored eyes, saved from salarian inhumane experiments by the warmhearted commander" was in the top five. Liara probably had to tie her prothean to the bed and ride him into oblivion to make him forgo revenge for that one. No wonder she called so early. If only the book hadn't contained all those long and verbose descriptions of her and Verner's " _torrid lovemaking_ ". It almost made her nauseated that Verner had thought up those scenarios.

Downstairs, the voice of Tali'Zorah went silent. Poor Garrus. He'd been up early, and no doubt got the worst of the publicity blast. She should go down and comfort him. Shepard started tapping her fingers on the nightstand, grinning broadly. She really should do that. But when had she ever played nice?

* * *

Garrus had read no more than half a chapter when Shepard came slowly down the stair. He flared his mandibles in a tired smile, but she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"We have to talk."

The tone of her voice chilled him, and he got up at once. "Jane, what-.."

"I have something to confess Garrus."

Her body language was more demure than he had ever seen it, and it unsettled him even further.

"I've been.. having this trembling ache in my loins for a long while."

His eyes narrowed, and he glanced quickly down at the datapad in his hand, before raising his head and glowering at her.

"I was feeling so lost, and unfulfilled, and you just weren't there for me."

He could hear her voice choking with crocodile tears, and his mandibles clamped to his jaw.

"Jane, stop that. The book is bad enough to read, I don't need a live performance as well."

"It's not that you didn't try, it's just.. a blue-blooded turian can't fully satisfy the cravings of a red-blooded strong willful woman as myself. I have certain needs and desires. You simply weren't.. large enough to fill them."

She too clearly had gotten further into the horrid story than he had, or maybe she had skipped to the more insidious parts first. He moved to grab her, but she was quicker and slipped by him, keeping them separated by the couch. The recital continued.

"The ecstasy an earth man can provide is like embracing eternity, only lots lots better."

He groaned. "Jane, seriously, I will get you for this."

He could see that she was trying not to grin, and the fact that she enjoyed his discomfort aggravated him further. She would get hers, by the spirits, she would.

"There will be punishment, Jane. Lots lots of it," he purred at her.

At these words, a smile escaped her lips, but she never gave up in the face of adversity. Shepard decided give it her all and in a heartbroken voice said "Forgive me Garrus, but I need a human man, a true alpha male in every sense of the word, one that makes me moisten at the mere _thought_ of him tearing my clothes off me, pushing his hard manhood against me, impaling me on his mighty-."  
"Sssheparrrd!"  
He tossed the datapad aside and lunged for her. She was almost within reach if his long arms, but flipped over the sofa to relative safety. On the other side, she took a quick moment to playfully stretch her arms in the air, revealing the letters written on the back of the T-shirt: _I heart Conrad!_

How dared she! Garrus gave a loud growl and entered a fight stance. A move in either direction, and he would...

* * *

She couldn't suppress her laughter anymore, and it bubbled to the surface, making Garrus' growl even deeper. It was time for a tactical retreat. Not that she minded being "punished" occasionally, but she wasn't just going to roll over and take it, as it were. She made a feint to the left causing him to mimic her movement, before she made a sudden break to the right for the upstairs bedroom. The double-clicks of bare talons on the floor closed in behind her as she scrambled for safety, then a ripping sound when the shirt was literally torn off her back.

"Heyy!" she protested, but continued the wild dash up the stairs, now half naked. Sadly she was unable to shake off her pursuer, and he picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, before trudging over to the bed and unceremoniously tossing her on it.

"Ooffh. _You're_ the beast Vakarian, not Wrex." She twisted around to face him, and he landed on top of her, bracing himself on his elbows. "No talking of other men in our bedroom, Shepard. Not in the mood."

She wriggled to get out from under him, but Garrus snatched her arms and held them above her head. He bent down and rested his forehead in the crook of her neck.

"You, are a heinous, malicious, nefarious, wicked, wanton woman, and I _loathe_ the ground you walk on." Every insult was followed by a hot breath on her neck that made her shiver. It was time to fight back.

"Aah, so I caught you reading the thesaurus. I'm so glad my sweet, dear, cherished, precious, treasured and beloved mate don't read whatever random smutty rag falls in his lap." She punctuated each term of endearment with a kiss to his face and against his mouth plates.

"I won't fall for flattery, Shepard," he growled as he pinned her to the bed with his body.

"Shepard- _Vakarian_ , my love," she crooned.

"And only _your_ Jane." She licked his neck with a wide wet tongue, causing the small muscles in his neck to ripple under the soft skin. He suppressed a groan. "Not fair."

"Love and war," she murmured against his hide.

"Oh, this is both," he whispered back while he dragged one hand down her body. When he reached the line of her sweatpants he extended two talons and sliced through it.

"Today it's mostly war." He tore the fabric from her body.

"Tell me Jane, do you want my chafing mouth plates on your body?"

She met his blazing blue eyes. "Yes."

Garrus pressed his mouth against hers, snaking his tongue out to meet hers while he made small teasing thrusting movements between her legs.

"Tell me you ache for me."

Shepard whined loudly. Damn this turian. This was beyond unfair, it was downright cheating. "Garrus.." she pleaded.

"Tell me Jane, or I'll be dry humping you all morning."

"All right, all right, I ache for you."

"Not really giving me the same performance as downstairs, but I'll be generous. This time!" He fixed his gaze on her as a warning. He then let go of her hands, and she huffed and chuckled as he lifted himself a little to free his cock. She tugged at his tunic.

"A little overdressed there, Vakarian."

"Quiet Jane." He smacked her hands away. "Don't make me take away what little freedom you gained just now. Where was I? Ah yes."

He slid his blue cock between her folds and started to grind against her while still remaining on the outside. With his low flanging voice he purred;"Am I large enough to fill your every need and desire."

Shepard gasped. "Garrus, please.."

"Answer me, Jane." He purred while keeping up the agonizing grind.

"You're everything I need or want." She added two more words under her breath "sadistic bastard."

"Don't get fresh with me, little human." He bit down gently on her shoulder, causing her to gasp again and grab at his hips. He shook her hands off, and continued his interrogation.

"And who's cock does your wet little pussy want to be impaled on?"

Shepard couldn't hold back a snort of laughter at this, but it was quickly cut short when Garrus thrust half is length inside her and pulled out again, grinning and waiting. She cupped his mandibles and pulled his forehead to hers.

"Only my mate's, only you, Garrus."

He breathed heavily, but pulled himself up and now stared into her eyes, dead serious.

"Most importantly; will you EVER again wear another man's name on your body?"

The shirt, she thought. Might have gone a bit far there.

"Your name is on my soul, my heart and my body. The only one."

He closed his eyes in bliss at this confession, and then drove himself plates deep inside her.

* * *

An hour or so later Shepard rolled out of bed and gave a sad look to another pair of her favorite sweatpants in tatters. The company that made those should give her a damn discount. She tiptoed past the exhausted turian in the bed down to the living room and dropped into the couch. Despite the fact that Verner was an annoying little twerp with a Munchhausen syndrome, he probably couldn't cause much more havoc now that Liara was on the case. With her help this thing would blow over in a matter of weeks, tops. She turned on the news-feed, and Diana Allers was giving a riveting account of all the the libel laws Conrad Verner and his publishing company had broken, how their actions were casting ugly aspersions on commander Shepard-Vakarian's character, and that of her mate, and that he would indubitably be hit with a defamation suit in the near future. Shepard grinned. Liara worked fast. She flipped to the next item on the news reel. It was an interview with her mother. Shepard's grin vanished in an instant and she sat bolt upright, clutching the remote. Hannah Shepard's voice dripped with sarcasm when asked about the truth of these allegations of her daughter having a lover.

"If not the fact that Conrad Verner has never set foot on the Normandy is proof that many of the, ahem, trysts described in the book is false, the fact that Verner himself is alive surely is. Have you ever worked with a turian? They have a superior sense of smell, and I doubt the _ghastly reaper adviser_ would have allowed this Verner character to remain breathing if he smelled the man on his mate."

Shepard shut the interview off. _Oh, no!_ Her mother was discussing her sex life on a public broadcast.

Behind her she heard Garrus' low chuffing. "I always liked your mom." He sat down beside her and took the remote from her hands. "Let's keep watching, this could be good."

Shepard twitched when she heard the cheerfulness in his voice. She doubted any of it would be _good_.

Garrus searched around until he found a new item and put it on the screen.

It was a series of interviews from their apartment complex, from the building manager to their neighbors. Questions ranged from how many neighbor complaints the Shepard-Vakarian household received on a normal week due to loud sex and indecent displays in the elevator. The number of incidents were quite startling, and one elcor couple living below them had reportedly moved away, the husband citing extreme emotional distress when his wife had began saying _wantonly_ and _lustfully_ outside of mating season.

Shepard was willing to bet that not half of those interviewed actually lived here, and that Liara had conjured them up on extremely short notice. The asari had done this without her usual delicate touch, and Shepard suspected the ass-shaking comment had something to do with that. Next time the shadow-broker called too early, she would weigh her words more carefully. The worst, however, was yet to come.

Khalisah bint Sinan al-Jilani had never been one of Shepard's greatest fans, but took great pride in her dedication to finding the truth behind every story. As such, the journalist had delved deep into the background of the commander. She expressed her doubt about the authenticity of the book, stating that commander Shepard was a confirmed longstanding xenophile deviant, with a special predilection for turians. The numerous incident rapports of scandals the Alliance had been forced to cover up regarding her blatant disregard for fraternization rules in relation to Vakarian would make a sizable pyre. She also ran her piece with clips released from various security cameras on the citadel, public award ceremonies, motion cameras atop the presidium and even a few from the Normandy, showing Shepard and Garrus in various states of _in flagrante delicto_ , stating that if the commander had made time for yet another lover, the reapers would have won hands down. Shepard winced and tried to avoid strangling the laughing turian beside her. This would be seen by her family, the Normandy crew, Alliance brass and the galaxy in general. She wondered it there was a derelict reaper somewhere they could activate to divert some attention away from her sex-life. Sadly, this was improbable.

* * *

His mate groaned whenever the clips were looping on the news several times a day for the next weeks. Garrus however, wore a smug grin and strutted around like the primarch of Palaven. The pictures of his bond-mate with her hands shamelessly all over him and her tongue in his mouth and on other parts of his body proved to the galaxy that she didn't need or want to look outside their bed for satisfaction. He suspected Joker to be the inside source for the Normandy vids, and decided not to booby-trap his chair after all. What he would do instead was to give Joker a heads-up that the commander might not be so understanding and benevolent. In Garrus' opinion the the pilot deserved to live a few more years at least.

The stress involved in dealing with the sex scandal, her annoyed mother and the vindictive Liara's "help" in the weeks after the book first released caused Shepard to have a set-back in her recovery. Her implants were acting up, and they had to call in Miranda Lawson in the aftermath to do a systems check. After chiding Shepard for undoing months of work, she ordered complete bed rest and calm to avoid further injury to her body. Always a paragon of iron health, Shepard mysteriously seemed to have developed a bad case of the flu in addition to complete exhaustion. Miranda had taken a few more tests, frowned at the results, but said not to worry.

Another few weeks later Garrus again sat at the window in their apartment with his kavah and smiled happily. Just another hurdle passed, he thought. After weeks of volus lawyers crawling all over Verner's publishing agency, the horrible man was convinced by his own lawyers to retract the statement on the blurb "Based on a true story," and the book was now sold from the fantasy section of any bookshop. Unfortunately, Garrus thought, it still remained a bestseller. Ah well. The real lesson from this was how much attention he and Shepard garnered in the press, even with Liara on damage control. They had practically been hounded day and night, and it was no wonder Shepard had suffered a small collapse. Garrus decided they wouldn't be so careless in the future. No more semi-public sex on the presidium, no more stalking wannabe lovers, no more salacious rumors about human-turian relationships. And anyway, it was over. The press seemed sated. The only thing that could possibly top the rumor of commander Shepard having a lover was commander Shepard being knocked up by her turian husband, and it wasn't like that was about to happen any time soon.

 _Right_...?

The End


End file.
